April Showers Bring May Flowers

I woke up this morning to hear the gentle pitter patter of rain against my window. My immediate thought was dread… how would I get to work this morning. Most days, I love to walk through the park so when the weather is less than optimal, I resort to taking the bus which begins my day in such a different way. Today, with my umbrella in hand, I headed towards the bus stop but instead, I decided to face the rain and continue with my usual walk to work.

As a psychotherapist, this change in seasons and how we each uniquely adapt reminds me of how we all experience difficulties in our lives and we choose to cope in different ways. Like the rain this morning, each of us find our own to protect ourselves and find comfort. In my walk today, I saw school children wearing galoshes playfully stomping in puddles, business people rushing by with enormous umbrellas guaranteeing they would not be touched by the rain, and others simply relying on their raincoats to keep dry. In the park, runners and bikers embraced the rain shower in that it may have made their morning exercise feel refreshing. For each of us, with our own temperaments and experiences, the rain brought something different. For me, today, this meant that I felt like walking in the rain with my umbrella overhead whereas on other days, this might have been too much. On days when the weather is sporadic, we must be willing to take risks to come out from underneath our umbrellas to see if the rain has stopped and the sun has come out. This morning, for me, it felt like a balancing act where I protected myself from the rain but also often lifted my umbrella to get glimpses of the beautiful flowers that seemed to blossom overnight.

This idea reminds me of how we create and utilize our own set of coping skills to protect ourselves to the best of our ability when difficult situations arise. For all of us, throughout life, we grow and change in many ways. However, despite our growing awareness and capabilities, our coping mechanisms often remain stuck and rigid. Some people continually reflect and re-evaluate the effectiveness and appropriateness of their coping mechanisms whereas most others continue to use the same coping skill over and over again simply because, at some point in time, this way of protection had worked. In this time of seasonal change, it can be helpful to think about how we protect ourselves. Do our coping mechanisms continue to work effectively? What are the pros and cons to using these tactics? Is there a better way to deal with these situations? What are our current abilities and do we still require the same amount of protection that we once did? Can we think about our feelings that lurk underneath these defenses?

It is natural that we want to protect ourselves and yet, it is of equal importance to think about when we need to let down our defenses and re-evaluate and reconfigure our coping skills. In taking these brave steps, we may just partake in the freedom and joy that comes along too.

Nanette Greenberg, LCSW